talking about getting the perfect okcupid message...

sarah: that would be like if someone wrote me a message that said "what is your favorite amanda bynes movie?"
james: no it would be like if someone wrote you a message that said "what is your favorite amanda bynes movie and also I'm farting as I type this"

confidence

actual conversation we just had

James: I could probably eat this whole block of cheese.

Sarah: Oh, I could definitely eat a whole block of cheese. The only things stopping me are farts and that it's not socially acceptable.

tumblr wisdom #2

and true love means farting and saying you're welcome

personal pizza

us (except for the sex)

never

adults or children

fart

I was thinking about cheezits all day so I went to the deli and was looking for some and then out of nowhere, I saw the light shine upon this beautiful box:


I am typing this after eating the entire box in ten minutes and I may or may not be breaking out in a cold sweat and suffering from the most painful stomachache known to mankind but all I have to say is GLORY BE TO THE CHEESE GOD JOHN WM MACY, MAY HE FOREVER CREATE STICKS OF CHEESY GOODNESS WITH WHICH I MAY WREAK HELL UPON MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

SERENA WILLIAMS IS NOW #1 ON OUR SHIT LIST

FUCK OFF, SERENA WILLIAMS, YOU ARE THE WORST
YOU CLEARLY DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT LIFE SO PLEASE NEVER SPEAK AGAIN

just farted really loud and I think one of my roommates is standing in the kitchen, which means she heard me rip a good one. don't want to share my farts with her, only you.

when you wish upon a star